Lift Up Your Eyes

It was one of those days. A survival day. And in the early afternoon survival turned to joy. 

Perfect wind. Perfect sky. Perfect weather. 

I put everything else out of my mind and accepted the call to play. 

The boys flew that kite for close to an hour, keeping it up for stretches of 15 minutes at a time, playing with dives and recovery, switching off in flight, and enjoying the mechanics of the wind on the wings. And I just watched. And watched. Looked at their faces, the sky, the kite, the colours. There is so much beauty everywhere.

I need to lift my eyes more.

(These pictures aren't from that day. I didn't have the camera with me on that special afternoon, and I'm actually thankful for that. It let me engage and not just frame images. Dear Man took these photos a few days later when he, too, seized the moment.)

There isn't a girl on earth who I love more than this one.

 

This week she turned 17, and while there are some days that I worry that I've totally messed her up, there are other days when I see how the grace of God has worked in and through my imperfect mothering.

If you could see inside My Girl's heart you'd see

gentleness

compassion

perseverance

humility

desire to serve

independence

love immeasurable

 loyalty

tenacity

How could I not be pleased with those characteristics - parts of her Lord Jesus, reflected in her? My heart sings with thankfulness for all she is and all she is becoming.

I don't know what the future holds for her, but I know for sure that her Lord God is holding her firmly in His pocket. There's no better place for her to be!

History Comes to Life

Months of studying the early Renaissance has brought us to Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo Buonarotti. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever finish. But then we have days like Thursday and Friday of this week, when my children's enthusiasm for the subject matter spills over, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Reading about all the sculptures and art led to this:

Why do I so often let the opportunity for times like this pass by? I'm thankful that this time I didn't.

One Thousand Gifts - 1079 - 1129

This exercise, this sacrifice of thanks, this daily offering back to Him what He has given so abundantly to me. Would you give thanks? With  me? (And if you get far enough, you'll even find photos this time!)

Three hard Eucharisteos:

   1079. Not having someone to cry out to - it pushes me to You...eventually.

   1080.Having my weaknesses right in my face to see every moment - it shows me my need for Your strength.

   1081. Loneliness - makes me value fellowship, community, moments.

1082. The Respect Dare.

1083. Oh, those sad, sad eyes.

Gifts behind a door:

   1084. No more loose Lego on the floor. (for now, anyway).

   1085. Outdoors, a big world, people to interact with.

1086. Gift time - unexpectedly available for other things.

1087. Tight squeezes.

1088. Regret over selfish words and actions.

1089. Hydro off.

1090. Hydro back on.

1091. Family games at the table.

1092. Cookie cutter sandwiches and homemade iced mochas brought to our room for lunch.

1093. Long conversations.

1094. Girls at La Roca.

1095. Boy on the end of the bed.

1096. Books shared by all.

1097. Shopping for a treat.

1098. Math on the stairs.

 

1099. Verses remembered.

1100. Delicious meal prepared by my Dear Man.

1101. Returning energy.

1102. Full day; peace-full day.

1103. Putting on patience and compassion and meekness.

1104. Giggles where there haven't been any.

1105. My (not-)full length mirror.

1106. Consistency and slow progress.

1107. Thunder, heavy house-shaking thunder that drives children to our bed.

1108. "Tina".

1109. Thanks.

1110. Drawer handles.

1111. A new shutterbug.

1112. Making a list together: passed 100 today!

1113. Friendships.

1114. Night sky.

1115. Help with the schedule.

1116. Mistakes that show I'm trying more things.

1117. Nothing is impossible for God.

Three white gifts:

   1118. Sheets: fresh and clean off the line.

   1119. A new notebook's pages inviting words.

   1120. Cabinet and drawer fronts in place.

Three things changed:

   1121. Fresh Start corner.

   1122. Visual reminders to pray.

   1123. My attitude toward a loved one.

1124. Whitened fingers.

1125. Calculations.

1126. Redirected thoughts.

1127. Resources from NA that meet needs here.

1128. So many people helping me sort out Sensory Processing Disorder.

1129. Hug-wrapped tears.

: :

Counting

Safely tucked away in January. If you have the desire to catch up with me, I welcome you to read on:

1030. Sleeping through the storm.

1031. Reminders to focus.

1032. Rabbit sheltered dry.

Three things blue:

  1033. Little man engulfed in my jacket checking on Cinnamon.

  1034. My favourite pen, almost out of ink...holding on!

  1035. Blue sky after grey.

1036. Return of loved ones.

1037. 2 Corinthians 3:17, 18: The glory of the Lord as though reflected in a mirror.

1038. Transformation into this same glory.

1039. Encouragement: 2 Corinthians 4:1 "Therefore since it is by God's mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart."

1040. A ride to the medical office for tetanus shot.

Three things found:

   1041. Clearer perspective.

   1042. My nephew's face reflected in my son's: some terrific genetic hide-and-seek going on!

   1043. Time uninterrupted to review a first assignment before submission.

1044. Pinecones to work as firestarters next winter: 2 bags full!

1045. Celebration of a 2-year old regenerated heart: Brown-Eyed Boy's heart birthday today!

1046. Your presence in the pain my friends are suffering.

1047. Longing.

Gifts before 9, before noon, and after dark:

   1048. 2 kg lost.

   1049. Oral narrations spilling from Little Man.

   1050. Info on Sensory Processing Disorder, unrequested, but much needed, in my inbox.

1051. Tears with My Girl. Tears for My Girl.

1052. Time with just one child.

1053. Time to write a long overdue letter.

1054. Progress with Club Bilingue preparation.

1055. Some concerns I carry were expressed.

1056. Re-matches!

1057. Fresh peaches, apples, plums - waiting to be eaten, waiting to be transformed into crisp.

1058. For immersion in Your Word.

Good moments:

   1059. Brothers playing Sorry before lunch.

   1060. Scrambling to set the noon-meal on the patio table in order to not have to end the game early.

   1061. Planning a scavenger hunt complete with map.

   1062. One scoop of vanilla ice-cream.

Three gifts that might have never been:

   1063. My sons, in the years-long aftermath of post-partum depression, these boys, these treasures, these gifts we thought we'd never have.

   1064. A conversation long-awaited.

   1065. An interruption-conversation. It wasn't on my to-do list for today, but it brought out two hearts closer.

1066. Epic movie enjoyed as a family. Who knew history could be so fun? (Actually, WE did, but funny, I've never posted about it!)

1067. Every moment with the Ones I Love, even though I don't always like those moments at the time. 

1068. Two hours of letter writing.

1069. Family day away.

1070. "Someone has a birthday soon." "Who?" (This question from the one who's been counting down for more than 90 days!)

Three gifts from my friends:

   1071. God revealing His abundant love through them.

   1072. Hope in pain.

   1073. Staying connected despite distance of time and space.

1074. Sea glass that isn't.

1075. Breathing test that appears normal.

1076. Dreams of birthdays to come.

1077. Lavish love.

1078. Abundant blessing.

 : :

Lavish Love

Reflecting on the Lord's lavish love, His abundant, overflowing love. I sit, amazed at the immensity of generosity, and the tears begin to puddle in my eyes and make their way down my cheeks.  

These tears – what are they for? I hide myself to talk with the Lord, and He shows me this:

He doesn't just want to give a token to show His love. He wants to pour it out in abundance. He wants to bless us, to shower His goodness on us. He wants us to know that He cares about the hard parts and, rather than take them away, He shows His love in the midst of them. He wants us to know that we are not forgotten and alone. Sometimes He simply wants to smother us in love.

And He wants to use the Church to do it - the Body of Christ, privileged to participate in His wild generosity. 

But even more than all that, He shows me this: It wasn't about me or us or anything we do. It was all about Him, about giving me a clearer picture of the God who is bigger and fuller and more than anything I have yet understood. It was all about Him.

It's all about Him.

: :  

All this, from December's days, from the deep reflecting I've been doing after experiencing overwhelming generosity, and from trying to find words to express to the givers the way the Giver worked through them.

Two Days

They've backed out of the driveway, leaving a hole in my heart. Two days is all these two will be gone, but when they're ones buried deep in the heart, days might as well be weeks.

We've made the preparations: food in the fridge for us, in the cooler for them. They have the phone, we have Skype. All they'll need for the next two days really isn't much, not in a physical sense. But do they have all they need in their hearts? Do we? Do they know how much love is traveling with them? Do they know how many prayers are going up as they drive? There's no end to the wanderings of my thoughts as I follow them through images in my mind.

Two days. I can last two days.

: :

1021. One more morning together.
1022. Plans; imperfect, incomplete plans.
1023. Arms enfolding me.
1024. A break in the heat.
1025. Brown Eyed Boy's emerging sense of humor.
1026. Skirt from my sister, sent from 10,000 km away.
1027. Matching t-shirts.
1028. Black-out curtains.
1029. Shared embraces.