"Abide in me...Abide in my love...You abide in me if you keep my commandments." John 5Abide - live, be, rest, stay awhile. Difficult, though, to slow my mind to abide in You. But the want is there. Thank You for the wanting. The wanting is a gift, a sign that there is more to aim for, more awaiting me; a sign that the Spirit does live in me, for one cannot want the Father unless the Spirit gives the desire. So the wanting itself is a gift.
Everything is a gift. Do I believe it? Is this situation a gift? Well, yes, because it will push me to You even more. The "potential for a deeper relationship with You" is definitely there in this, but so is the potential for bitterness and shriveling of my soul. It comes to a choice. Will I respond with grace, with leaning on You? Or will I respond with opposition, with unwilling receipt of this situation?
I cannot know if it is what You would have chosen for me if people's own wills were not involved. But I do know that now, in this circumstance that has come to be, You want to draw me closer. So draw me, Lord God...Whisper to me of Your abiding love for me even through this. Especially through this, the challenge I now face in how I will respond...I'm not ready to rejoice. I'm not sure I'm even ready to forgive. But I am ready to trust You to carry me through whatever comes as a result of it.
So I will abide.
Saturday, 31 May 2008
Abide
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